![]() ![]() I must find a way to be someone else - someone who is lovable. It means there is no possibility for me as I am there is no way I can matter or be worthy of anyone's love as long as I remain myself. ![]() ![]() This hopelessness is the deepest cut of the mystified state. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in. Bradshaw explains, "The feeling that I have done something wrong, that I really don't know what it is, that there's something terribly wrong with my very being, leads to a sense of utter hopelessness. But toxic masculinity punishes those fundamental emotions, and it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that it’s hard for men to not complybut hooks wants to help change that. ![]() In response to this lesson that his true self is inappropriate and wrong, the boy learns to don a false self. Therapist John Bradshaw explains the splitting that takes place when a child learns that the way he organically feels is not acceptable. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. From the New York Times bestselling author of All About Love, a brave and astonishing work that challenges patriarchal culture and encourages men to reclaim the best part of themselves.Everyone needs to love and be loved-even men. “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term "masculinity") is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity a boy learns. ![]()
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